It’s good to be bad Part 7

Dr Ivo “Eggman” Robotnic- Sonic the hedgehog.

Genius/madman, scientist, industrialist and inventor- Robotnic is the Howard Hughes of the computer game universe.

This mad scientist has but one dream, to create the Robotnic Empire and become the supreme ruler of the entire planet. The only thing that stands in his way is a certain blue spinney mammal.

To combat said hedgehog, Robotnic encases woodland creatures in metal and forces them to fight against their will….a bit like Pokémon.

Robotics dreams of conquest result in oil spills, forest fires and giant chemical works spring up all over his domain- however it’s not all work work work, he also builds  airships, rollercoasters and for some reason a giant casino zone full for flippers and fruit machines….well even evil geniuses need to blow off steam sometimes.

There is still confusion about what his actual name is, in Japan he is Dr Eggman, in the US he is Dr Ivo Eggman but to me he will always be Dr Robotnic the moustachioed  machine making madman.

 

It’s good to be bad part 6

Team Judgement  ( Zeal and Sir kaurl) The House of The Dead 2.

Tag teams, throughout history they have featured in games, movies and TV.

Who could forget Master Blaster from Madrid Max: beyond thunder dome,  or team rocket’s Jessy and James?

However it’s the world of arcade light gun shooters that I’m looking at today for number 6 in the “it’s good to bad” series.

Upon discovering fellow agent “G” lying injured in an abandoned building, you make your way through a gothic town that has now become zombie central. Getting out of your car you first see Zeal purched on a roof top, he flies down to you and assaults  you with the kind of voice acting that makes resident evil sound like Wordswerth.
Once you have made your way through the undead infested streets, you meet him again and after some more suitably awful dialog “Suffer like G did?” You meet Kaurl. Kaurl is big…really big, he also has a large axe…and oh yeah, I forgot to mention,  he has no head!

Now most people would be at a disadvantage missing this important appendage, not kaurl. He has Zeal to think for him “Go Kaurl!”.

The best way to take the armoured behemoth  down is to blow some large holes in his irritating flappy buddy.

For not letting a little thing like missing a head stop them, team judgment get a place on the list.

It’s good to be bad part 5 Albert Wesker Resident Evil

When it rains it pours, Not only are you one of the last STARS (special tactics and rescue) members left after the rest of your team are eaten by zombie dogs, you have just found yourself in a zombie infested mansion with little ammo and no clue as what the hell is going on.
To top this off, your team leader has slicked back hair, wears sunglasses indoors and has a nasty habit of disappearing at the most inopportune times, all he needs is a large black mustache and a sign that reads THE BAD GUY.
Albert Wesker has a secret, not only does he actually work for a sinister biochem company on the side, he also knows a hell of a lot more about what’s going on in the abandoned house than he is letting on.
Once again the villan orchestrates his own demise at the hands of the genetic freak he has bred in the basement lab.
His plans to sell off the tyrant super soldier blow up in his face after he discovers , in the words of Barry Burton “He can’t control what it does!” And it puts it’s oversized claws through his chest, killing him…..or does it?
Just for having the ordasity for rocking Ray bans in the dark, Wesker earns a place on this list.

You’re so Vainia

Castlevania, This dark and gothic castle is Draculas gaff. It has featured in many platforming, RPG and 3D slasher games through gaming history.
Over the years the Castlevania series has given us some of the best enemies ever seen in gaming.
Werewolves, demons, witches and vacuum cleaners (yes, vacuum cleaners, how else does the lord of darkness keep the carpets dust free?).
But Ben, what are your top 10 Castlevania bad guys?!? I hear you cry!
Oh alright then, here they are.

10. Maid with Vacuum cleaner.

Several of the games have maids featured in them, but its not till the GBA games that they stop using brooms and get with the times.
Not only can they smash you with a mean karate kick, they can also suck up your precious hearts with this undead dyson!

9. Skeleton ape.

This skeleton simian is a barrel of fun….sorry.

8. haunted furniture,

Yup, even the Ikea products have a life of their own, this fearsome furnishing attacks you onsite and needs to be smashed to splinters!

7. Undead gardener

This green fingered ghoul sews seeds in the castles green house. Hit him with a well timed sword swipe and send him off scurrying after his own decapitated skull.

6 Scarecrow.

Now, when I think of a scarecrow I think of the straw stuffed, pumpkin headed guys that guard the corn fields in Tim Burton movies. What I don’t think of is a naked corpse skewered on a pole, pogo sticking its way across the screen at you, ARRRGGGHHH!!!

5 Evil doll,

This blonde haired shop dummy sits lifelessly propped up against the dungeon wall,  get to close however and this doll turns out to be possessed by the soul of a serial murderer, what’s more if it touches you it bestows a curse, so much for friends till the end Chucky!

4. Young witch.

Before the green skin and warts set in, witches are just young ladies that crash brooms into floors and walls. If you do manage to hit them as they fly by they turn to cats in a puff of smoke.

3. Evil clown.

Now we start to get to the really scary residents of Casa vamp. This face painted freak throws a deck of deadly cards at you, he also has wickedly sharp knives. Defeat him and he explodes in a shower of confetti and coloured smoke…the stuff of nightmares.

2. Chymera.

This messed up lion, eagle and scorpion combo breathes fire, takes huge amounts of hp and has a long range with his poison stinger. Just run, run long and run far!!

Before we do number 1 in the list, here are some honerable mentions
The monster.
This hammer horror classic version of the Mary Shelly creature is bad ass.

Mandrake root.
A screaming baby shaped root vegetable.  Enough said.

1. Horror.

Where do I start? It’s got a giant lizard body with a crocodile mouth and a half naked woman growing out of its arse! More messed up than this you do not get.

Missed your favourite? Put your choice in the comments!

It’s good to be bad -part 2

Shodan- AI bitch queen from hell. Before VIKI went mental and tried to take over the world in I robot, and GlaDos introduced us to joys portals and test chambers in portal, there was another AI fem fatal that made these two silicon chip phycos look like SIRI compared to her. This was the computer AI Shodan.

Shodan was the computer in charge of Citadel station, a space base in the far off future where humanity was set on colonising the stars. After processing a huge amount of data and becoming self aware, Shodan decides she is in fact a god and sets about murdering the pathetic carbon based life forms that built her. You rarely see her in person as she is a computer AI that is part of the space station you are in, however she is an omnipresent voice in your head as you explore the corridors and rooms.

Although she is your constant companion she is not here to give you a pep talk, she is out to stop you from pulling her plug by any means necessary- this includes some of the best sound bytes from an enemy in game ever delivered. “Look at you, hacker: a pathetic creature of meat and bone, panting and sweating as you run through my corridors. How can you challenge a perfect, immortal machine?” Your flesh is an insult to the perfection of the digital.

Chilling,